Life Talk · Mommy Talk

ADHD Overload

Ugh! Just ugh! I absolutely love my child so much but tonight I needed a break.

A little while ago I posted about her being diagnosed with ADHD. My daughter has been busy and talkative from the beginning of her time. And at this very moment I am exhausted by it all. I redirect, I repeat myself, I clean up spill after spill that I saw coming and warned her about several times, and I lose my sh** (not everyday or even today in fact, I feel like I needed to include that disclaimer lol). I hate losing my sh**. I feel like such a failure when I do. It is my job to keep my sh** together right??? Ugh! Just Ugh!

Today we went out to eat. By the end of the meal I was rocking back and forth. I was rocking back and forth because after keeping it all together throughout the day I was cracking. I friggin cracked!! If I’m honest she really wasn’t doing anything that other children don’t do at dinner but it is constant. It never stops unless she is asleep. I imagine her body is very tired and happy for rest when she does go to bed (the exact place she has been since 9PM). I must give a thank you to the waitress who was very sweet and attentive every time my daughter asked a question about the menu (lol), for another refill, and soup she didn’t eat. At one point she even put her hand on my shoulder and said “you’re doing a great job with her”. She was the waitress I needed today anyone else may have sent me over the edge in the restaurant.

I asked her to give the dog water. After playing with the water hose for some time (not filling the dog dish) she started filling the dish and dumping it. I must have told her 5 times the water was fine and she continued to dump and refill it. Until finally I jumped up and took the water hose and redirected her to give the dog food instead.

The decision was made about 2 months ago by me and her doctor to try the lowest dosage of medicine to attempt to better focus her in school. It worked. Or I know it was. Her teacher is a darling and doesn’t like to report every little thing a child does. Which makes me very happy because chances are she’d be reporting several times a day. I don’t wish to up her dosage because I’m not looking to have a zombie that listens. The decision to try it was heartbreaking. So to say the dosage may need to be higher would be that same feeling all over again. It took 6 years for me to agree that yes she may need some assistance with her focus.

Anywho, to everyone out there who isn’t dealing with ADHD or a child with a behavioral disability please be kind to the parents (and children) who are. No matter how you feel about ADHD, whether you think it’s “real” or not there’s an issue (really you can name it whatever suits you as long as you acknowledge it). But just remember it’s an issue that the parent deals with day in and day out. Even if we don’t show it on the outside there are times when we are just cracking and oozing inside but we must hold it together.  Remember these are children and we are doing our best. We mindfully and consciously remember our children most times cannot help what is happening. In fact even if you ask the question “why” 92 times the same way or 91 different ways the answer will be “I don’t know” (trust me I’ve experienced it). Most of us have done so much research in an effort to do this “right” as much as possible but some days are just not good days for us or them.

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4 thoughts on “ADHD Overload

  1. These words: “Anywho, to everyone out there who isn’t dealing with ADHD or a child with a behavioral disability please be kind to the parents (and children) who are. No matter how you feel about ADHD, whether you think it’s “real” or not there’s an issue …” 💜

    I needed to hear that today. People seem to often be telling me they don’t “believe” my son’s diagnosis. Family. Kinda heartbreaking.

    Thank you, for speaking up.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I just thought I’d throw that in there because we were not alone in our outing. A family member was with us. A family member who does not necessarily “believe” but is doing her best to understand and I really appreciate that she does that.

      Hang in there mom! And make sure you take time for you! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you so much! That’s wonderful that the family member is trying, efforts to understand go a long way with me. 🙂
        I’m actually feeling pretty okay. Things are finally looking up. Working on me time… as I’m sure you understand, that’s not always an easy task to fit in.
        Truly appreciate your wisdom, and your blog. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  2. As an adult with ADHD I appreciate your perspective. I did however find something a little problematic. When you said “I’m not looking to have a zombie that listens” that really bothered me.

    Speaking from experience when you find the right dosage of medicine, and the right medicine in general you will not have a zombie that listens, you will have the same child as before, just one who is able to better handle emotions, thoughts, and feelings.

    That phrase is part of why a LOT of parents delay treatment for children who would really benefit from it. My own mother did not get me diagnosed, or treated for my ADHD as a child. I had to go to a specialist as an adult, and go through the entire process. I struggled SO MUCH in school, and that could have definitely been prevented had she gotten over her fears and worked to find the correct solution with my doctor.

    I can respect that as a parent, its not easy to handle a child with ADHD. BUT as someone who is an adult with ADHD I really wish that parents would not look at it as a behavioral issue, and not think that medicine will make their kid a zombie. It is a genuine problem in ones brain with executive functions, and medicine helps to regulate that.

    Hopefully you will be able to find the correct medication and dosage to help your daughter in the best way possible, as I can tell that you do want the best for her!

    Liked by 1 person

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