Initially, I was unsure of how to write this post.The tone of this post is very important to me, as I don’t want to sound as if I am happy about my child’s misfortune. However, I didn’t want to sugar coat the situation either. Finally I decided to write it honestly with a disclaimer. If this post can help another parent struggling with this issue then no matter what the tone it did it’s job!
DISCLAIMER: In no way am I excited, happy or otherwise on top of the world! 🙂 (well not about this but I am however high off life…hahahahahaha)
If you live in America, can see and hear you are aware of the dreaded SOL testing that takes place every year. These tests are designed by the government to decide if our kids are learning (malarkey but whatevs).
A couple of weeks ago the time came for our school district. Throughout the preparation time I inquired several times with my son about his studying and sleeping. Each time he assured me that he was taking care of both. (He is in 7th grade and is 13. At the beginning of 7th grade he voiced his feelings on me being too over protective.) After several years of attempting to push him into greatness…lol…I decided to allow him to try to handle his school life. Please understand that I was in constant contact with his teachers and guidance counselor via email. This way I was able to mention and inquire without seemingly being too involved in his life.
On Tuesday we had our family meeting (normally done on Monday but I was tired and therefore pushed it back a day) when it was his turn to talk he advise that he needed me to work “my magic” at school. (A little background…I have always been involved in my children’s school life, home life, friend life…all lives…hahahahaha. If something didn’t seem right I would pop up at school, make a phone call or send an email…shoot one time I did all 3 in one day..lol (crazy much lol). However, I have always made my children deal with the consequences of their actions, if warranted.) He wanted me to call his teacher so she would allow him to go to an arcade field trip. Of course my question was why can’t you go. This is when I found out he had fallen asleep during his math SOL. *gasp* Attempting to keep the conversation neutral (to keep him talking) I asked a few more questions in a non lecturing tone. He also has to attend summer school because he did not pass either SOL. *Sigh*
I advised him that I would not work “my magic” because these are the consequences of his actions. After which I asked him what was his plan to pass his retake next week? He actually provided me with a plan of action that will work if he does what he says. Surprising to me he also admitted that he really didn’t care about the SOLs and assumed they would be easy. He also chose not to read full passages because they were too long (how’d that work out for ya…sigh). He talked and I listened for a while. Just honest open conversation which I actually like.
I know this all seems bad but there’s a silver lining. He now understands that he must study and get rest to be successful academically. He learned a very valuable life lesson this year! While I am not happy about the tests I am happy to know that he understands what he did wrong. He understands that he has to change in order for things to change.
I let him know that he is as smart as he wants to be. I let him know that he could be anything he wanted to be a college grad or a tradesmen. Either way I would proud of him. Honestly, throughout his life I have pushed college. If memory serves me right this is the very 1st time I gave him the option (on this situation) to do what makes him happy. In our conversation I let him know that there are several schools from mechanic, to chef to computer tech that would not take 4 years to complete if he was interested.
Moral of my story…we cannot make our kids into what we want them to be. (Well you can, if it works for you then I bow to you. My track record has not been good lol. And that’s ok.) It’s also not your fault, if you have done your best, and they don’t walk your path. In the end life may surprise you and send a serious wake up call just through it’s lessons! 🙂
It is my sincere hope that everyone has a wonderful Friday Eve! 🙂